It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, as I’ve been busy figuring out what my life/schedule looks like around the new Mary Sue gig. That’s been going well, and I’ve finally figured out what my actual days can look like. However, there’s been a lot of travelling, too. Went to Emerald City Comic Con to do an Incredible Girl panel with Aurora, Lady Anastasia of Pangaea fame, and Cunning Minx – it went really well. And I’m writing this post from the MD/VA area where I’m with My Boo visiting Boo’s family for Passover. It’s been a really nice trip.
But the reason for the writing today is, of course, because it’s the anniversary of my mom’s passing. Mariana Hernandez Jusino died on April 5th, 2006. It’s also Easter. It’s also my writing partner, Adam’s, birthday. Deaths, resurrections, and births. It’s weird to think of all of those things on the same day.
It’s been 9 years – NINE YEARS – since my mom passed away. That’s insane to me. On the one hand, it feels like just yesterday, but on the other, it feels like a million years ago. Time definitely heals all wounds, but the wounds sometimes re-open at unexpected times. Being in MD/VA with My Boo’s parents just drives home the fact that I don’t have parents to go home to anymore (we’ll be celebrating the 1st anniversary of my dad’s passing in 2 weeks). I think about things they aren’t around to experience, like my career milestones, or a wedding, or kids. It’s sad. But at the same time, I still have my brother and sister and their beautiful families. I have My Boo and that whole family. I have amazing friends who are like family. I’m not alone, and my future looks bright, and I’m happy about those things. What’s more, I’m equipped with the things my parents taught me, so they’re never that far away. I find myself folding plastic bags and putting them away the way my mom did, or putting silverware tine/blade side up in the dish rack the way my dad did. Just the other day, my sister, brother and I were chatting on Facebook about how we all cut our pancakes “like pizza”, the way our mom did. :) I have my mom’s ability to choose battles, and my dad’s ability to start them when necessary. I’ve learned from their successes and mistakes, and I’m so grateful that they were in my life for as long as they were to give me the gifts of their experience and love.
So, today isn’t a sad day. It’s an introspective day. I get to remember the good times, express gratitude for what I’ve been given, and life my life as fully as possible with the knowledge that that’s exactly what my mom and dad would’ve wanted for me. I hope I make them proud, and I hope I can be the kind of parents they were one day.
I love you, Mommy.