So remember that bit in my Year In Review post where I said I was still a writer for Tor.com?
Yeah, not so much.
I was let go a couple of days ago, just after I was let go from GirlGamer on New Year’s Day. It’s not been a good week for me, writing-wise.
And while it sucks, I know that a majority chunk of why I was let go was my fault.
For GirlGamer, there were a couple of times when I didn’t get them their promised reviews on time. For Tor.com, it was a mix of not getting them things on time, and not having pitches/articles I did submit approved, because I’d somehow gotten out of step with what they wanted. For the past couple of months, I’d admittedly become ambivalent about submitting things. I could pretend that this was a huge horrible thing that was done to me, but the fact is that I, consciously or unconsciously, did this to myself.
For a while now, I’ve been telling friends that I’ve gotten a bit burnt-out on writing about geeky things. Yes, I love sci-fi and fantasy and comics…but I love other things, too. And I’ve been writing about geeky things online since 2007. That’s five years of writing about geek pop culture. For the past couple of months, I’ve been having trouble maintaining enthusiasm about that; trouble with coming up with new and interesting ways to talk about the same things. And my editors at these sites suffered the effects, and I’m really sorry about that. Because I know I can do better, and they deserved better from me.
What’s funny is that I’ve been saying that I didn’t want to do geek writing anymore for a while now…so, both these gigs letting me go at the same time was kinda like the Universe saying Oh, you don’t want this anymore? Fine. *yoink* You don’t have it anymore. Do something else.
Thanks, Universe. I GET it. GEEZ! Trying to see these two incidents as blessings in disguise; answers to a prayer I didn’t even realize I was making except in hindsight.
There’s been a lot that’s happened lately that’s slapped me in the face and forced me to reexamine what I want, how I accomplish things, and the way I plan. I feel like 2013 is gonna be the year where Life takes off the kid gloves, and I’m gonna have to be ready to deal with it. I will be ready to deal with it. This weekend, among other things, I’ll be preparing a list of outlets to which I want to submit work – diverse ones that appeal to all my interests, not just the geeky ones. I’ll be writing pieces for Al Dia and NerdSpan (By the way, did I tell you I was just taken on by NerdSpan as a book reviewer? Well, now you know!), sites that, while I’ll still be writing about arts and culture, I’ll be able to broaden my scope in that arena. I love that I have the chance to more closely examine Latino contributions to culture, and I love that I now have the chance to write about books – some of them sci-fi/fantasy/graphic novels, yes, but also contemporary literary fiction and non-fiction.
This week or next, I plan on meeting with a writer friend of mine whose hustle and tenacity in freelance writing I hugely respect, to pick her brain about what I can do to refocus my energies and pursue the kind of writing I want to be doing. I also hope to incorporate some of the writing I did for Tor and GirlGamer into this blog – so if you really enjoyed my Doctor Who stuff or my comics reviews, you just might start seeing them pop up here once in a while.
And this month, I’m getting back to my fiction, which is what I really want to be doing in the first place. My specs, pilot, and prose fiction have been ignored for way too long. I have writing fellowships for which to prepare and a fictional voice that’s been stagnating in the shadow of my online non-fiction voice.
And I want to state for the record that I will always be grateful to Tor.com for being the first outlet ever to pay me for my words. It meant so much to me in 2010, and it means so much to me today. The staff there is amazing, and I feel privileged to have worked with them. I’m also grateful to GirlGamer for giving me the opportunity to write about comics again when I’d been missing it, having weaned myself off of comics reviewing in favor of writing about television and web content. HB, you’re an awesome editor. And thanks to Cricket for hooking a sistah up.
Writing Career, 2013 is when I start kicking you in the face. Be warned.