There’s still about 40 minutes of Thursday left on the East Coast, so I’m going to go ahead and put up my planned Throwback Thursday post for today. It’s one I think you’ll like…
Picture it. Long Island, NY in the year 2000. An unsuspecting 21-year-old named Teresa is taken out by her friends for her birthday. They take her, blindfolded, to an undisclosed location. Judging by the sounds and smells of the place, Teresa thinks she’s in a bowling alley. It wasn’t a bowling alley, but there were certainly plenty of balls there.
Still blindfolded, Teresa is instructed to sit in a chair, which she does. Suddenly, she feels a pair of strong, male thighs straddling her and gyrating. Those thighs belonged to a Hottie McHotterson like the one in the picture above. Teresa proceeded to enjoy an evening of screaming like a banshee, drinking many alcoholic beverages, rubbing baby oil on Mr. Escapes 2000 (while talking to him about what his girlfriend thinks of his stripping choices, because she was a HUGE FREAKING NERD WHO HAS MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS WITH STRIPPERS WHILE RUBBING BABY OIL ON THEM), and entering a penis-cake-eating contest. She didn’t win, but hey, free cake.
After stumbling home that night, she showed her father a group Poloroid of her and her friends (and the strippers) that the management at the strip club took of them to commemorate her birthday. Her father looked at her, looked at the photo, looked at her, looked at the photo, raised his eyebrow, shook his head, and shuffled wordlessly into his room, closing the door behind him. Her mother did the same thing upon seeing the photo.
It was a good night.